Navigating the New Relationship
Building a relationship after 40 years of separation is never easy. There were awkward moments as Alex and their biological mother sort of had to learn to relate to one another within this new context. Alex had to balance the loyalty they felt for their adoptive parents with the new relationship they were developing with their biological family.
Their adoptive parents, too, had to adjust to the idea of Alex having a biological family. These were not emotional adjustments only but practical ones because both families had learned to stay in the same house with each understanding their role in Alex’s life.
Alex struggled at times with what to call the biologic mother; for a long time, “Mom” had been reserved strictly for the mother whom they were adopted by. But after some years went by, Alex grew into embracing two mothers and embracing what each mother stood for, neither choosing over the other, but instead loving them both. This realization and understanding of family and what it could be was an eye-opener to Alex, thereby enriching their self.
